How to be a Wizard
by Wildcat317
Summary: Andrew York had been through a lot of stuff the past few years. He had to write down a journal to keep track of all the goings on in his crazy life. Join Andrew York as you read through the experiences he had at Hogwarts and how he interacted with the friends he found. This is going to be an adventure for all involved.
1. My Worst Day

_**From the Journal of Andrew York:**_

_**July 17th****, 1995**_

I found out that I have magic powers today. It was both awesome and terrifying, or awesomfying as I would call it. Or maybe terrisome? Nah, that sounds too much like terrorism. Damn, I got distracted. I hate it when I do that. Anyway, the day started at all normal with me waking up late. That usually happens so I thought nothing of it. But as the morning went on I realized it was going to be a pretty shitty day. I tripped _up_ the stairs when I was heading to math. Seriously, how the _hell_ is it possible to trip _up _the stairs?! Needless to say, I was pretty pissed at this point but not at anything in particular, so I was just hatin' the world for a bit. Then this trash of a human being comes and gives me something to hate. A guy named Phillip Wendell comes up to me and starts harassing me. I don't really know what his problem is. I think he's trying to be the school bully or something? It would work (he's definitely asshole enough) except that he's like super short and looks like a twig. Nobody wants a school bully a seven year old girl can beat up. Back to the point, he comes up and starts harassing me. Now usually, I retort and make him look like a dumb douche. But today really, _really_ wasn't my day. He used his normal insults, 'Asshole, dumbass, stupid, four eyes (Four eyes seriously? Is this the 70's?)' and the like but after seeing those wouldn't get a rise out of me he insulted something worse. He insulted my parents. My _dead_ parents. The parents that _died_ when I was _four_.

"At least your dead worthless parents don't have to see the screwed up kid they ended up with." He had said.

I wasn't even mad at the slight he made at me. My mind only picked up 'worthless parents' before I started seeing red. I was_ so_ angry. I just wanted him to go away, to stop being there. Then all of a sudden he was. He moved from the place in front of me to the wall in what felt like a second. When he impacted it made a disturbing crunching noise. I thought I had killed him. Then he started bawling loudly. I sighed in the relief that I wasn't a murderer and that the asshole was alive. He _was_ an asshole but I didn't want him to die. Then I realized that I had done that. I don't know how to explain but I just felt like I did that. Apparently a teacher was watching the whole confrontation and he called an ambulance. I was sent home shortly after. Now _this_ is where stuff gets confusing.

* * *

><p>I walked into my small apartment and was heading for the only bedroom, when I heard a hoot. Not just any hoot. But an <em>owl's<em> hoot. Also, don't ask why I know what an owl's hoot sounds like. Back to topic! So I walk into the kitchen and there's a brownish owl just sitting on my counter. If the open window behind it is any clue, I would say that I left it open and he just flew in. I'm an ace detective, I know. Normally I would have freaked out and threw him out the window, but a lot of weird shiz has been going on today and I was in a particularly accepting mood. I walked towards Feathers (Yes, I named him Feathers. Deal with it.) and noticed something on his leg. He noticed my noticing and proceeded to stick out his leg with what I presume is a letter. I untie it and look at it. _To: Mr. Andrew Felix York. _Yep that's my name.

Several things go through my head in that moment. Why is an owl delivering a letter? Why is there an owl in the middle of New York? Why am I getting a mysterious letter? But most importantly… "How the HELL do they know my middle name?! I've never told anyone! Not even the school knows! So how the hell does some guy who happens to send letters by_ owl_ know my full name!" I scream. I hate that name. I mean seriously? Felix? No offense to the Felix's of the world but I just don't like it. Aw man, I got distracted again. Back to plot!

"I wonder who sent this?" I ponder out loud. "Also, I wonder what it says." Don't we all. I flip from the side with my name on it to the side that has this super fancy wax seal with an elegant 'H' in the middle. Wait a minute… H…. H stands for Hospital. I busted Phillip up. I better not be getting billed for his hospital stay. I probably am. Shit. Maybe I should just not open it. I then proceed to throw the envelope onto the counter and start walking away. Then I hear another hoot. I turn my head lazily and look at Feathers. "Oh, yeah. Your still here." The owl looks at me slightly annoyed, then it picks up the letter that I just threw down and puts it in his beak. He holds it out for me expectantly. We just stare at each other. A few seconds pass. Then a minute. Then I blink. Then I sigh. "Alright Feathers, you beat me in our little staring contest. I guess I'll read the damn letter." The look on his face and the tone in his hoot all hint towards the reality that he's laughing at me. I'm being laughed at by an owl. My life sucks. I snatch the letter from 'Mr. Sour Winner' and proceed to rip it open. Inside is a piece of paper that doesn't feel like paper and the biggest, loopiest handwriting that I've ever seen.

HOGWARTS SCHOOL _of_ WITCHCRAFT _and_ WIZARDRY

Headmaster: Albus Dumbledore

_(Order of Merlin, First Class, Grand Sorc., Chf. Warlock, Supreme Mugwump, International Confed. of Wizards)_

_Dear Mr. York,_

_We are pleased to inform you that you have been accepted at Hogwarts School of Witchcraft and Wizardry. Pleased find enclosed a list of all necessary books and equipment. Term begins on 1 September. We await your owl no later than 31 July._

_ Yours Sincerely,_

Minerva McGonagall

_ Minerva McGonagall_

_ Deputy Headmistress_

"Well," I start. "That was a thing, definitely a thing." I swear the owl looks at me with a look that says 'Ya don't say?'. I think he's a sassy little thing. Anyway, wizardry. That's apparently a thing I can do. After sitting and processing what I just read, I look into the envelope and see another letter.

_Dear Mr. York,_

_My name is Albus Dumbledore, and I am the headmaster of Hogwarts School of Witchcraft and Wizardry. Since this is a rather… unique situation for both you and me, I would like for us to meet properly as to discuss the goings on in our respective lives. This will give you a chance to ask any questions that you wish, with the only condition being that I may do the same. If you are indeed going to attend Hogwarts, and would, in fact, like to meet with me, please send a short letter of confirmation. If I do not receive any notice by 31 July than I will be going on the assumption that you do not wish to attend and will therefore cancel your registration. _

_ Hoping you are well,_

Albus Dumbledore

_ Albus Dumbledore_

_ Headmaster_

Hmm… all I need to do is pen a quick confirmation then? Wait, wait, wait. Am I honestly thinking about going to this place? _But you can learn magic._ The child in me retorts. You know what, this is probably just a prank. Besides, I already have a school and it's one of the best academies in New York. Oh look, the phones ringing. I walk over and grab the phone off its home on the wall.

"Hello, York speaking." I answer. A deep voice responds. "Ah, hello Mr. York. This is Samuel Blackmore, your assistant principal," That can't be good.

"In light of the unfortunate injuries that you caused Mr. Wendell, the school administration has deemed it fit to expel you from West Hanover Preparatory Academy. We apologize for this unfortunate situation, but it cannot be reversed. I'm sorry, and farewell."

That was not good. Also Mr. Blackmore did not sound sorry at all. I just stood there for a few minutes, trying to grasp everything that's happened in the last few hours. After a little while I just sat on the floor and leaned against the wall. My head hangs down and I run my hand through my hair (A nervous tick I have) and sigh shakily. "What am I going to do now?" I ask no one in particular. "I don't have the money to go to another school." Oh wait.

I look at the letter that I had placed on the counter. I could always go and learn magic stuff. Yeah that sounds good, plus I have literally no other option right now. Finding my bag by the door, I pull out a sheet of paper and pen. I write the necessary quick confirmation and seal it in an envelope. I'm about to leave to the post office, when I see Feathers staring at me. I suppose I should send it back the way it came right? I hand him the letter and say "Alright Feathers, I trust you know where this goes?" The owl nods its head and hoots affirmatively before flying out the still open window. I walk to my bedroom and collapse on my bed. This whole Hogwarts business doesn't seem like my best idea, but I just hope that it doesn't come back to bite me in the ass later. It probably will though. After all it hasn't been a good day for me. And with that pleasant thought I fall asleep.

**AN: Hey all, this is Wildcat. I'm starting up a new story, obviously. It's going to take place through fifth year and it might even go on for longer, depending on how this all goes. This story is going to be in Andrew's POV for the majority of the time, and it's going to show how he fares in Hogwarts. Also Andrew's personality is a little mix between me and a guy I know, so this could _technically _be a self-inserting. If you don't like that, then sorry not sorry. I really hope this goes places, I've got a ton of ideas. Anyway, I'd always appreciate a review and all that jazz. I guess I'm done stealing your time. Til' next time! See-ya!**


	2. A Weird Old Man

**_July 25__th__, 1995_**

Owls are horrible messengers. Seriously.

It took eight days for the response of the Headmaster to arrive. Eight days! If we just emailed I would have known everything at this point! But I digress.

So these past few days I've kinda been just lazing about, you know sleeping, couch potato-ing, listening to my mp3, and just being useless. It sucks not being able to do anything. I hate waiting. It's not because I don't like relaxing, because I do. I _really_ do. I _really, really _do. It's just that I'm all anxious about this new school and the longer I wait the sketchier this whole deal seems to me. I mean let's be honest. I may have, kinda, sorta, screwed things up with Phillip. Then I get expelled and I just _happen_ to get an invitation letter from a new school? A school for _magic_? Also, and may I add, the sketchiest part of this whole deal, my invitation letter was sent to me by an owl. An asshole owl! If that doesn't scream 'suspicious as all hell' then I have no idea what does. Needless to say that I'm skeptical about the whole shebang.

Then I got a response.

I was awoken by an annoying tapping sound. Groaning, I blindly flail my hand around in the direction of my nightstand. I finally grab what I was looking for and bring my clock to my face. 9:20 a.m. "It's like the middle of night," I grumble. "Whoever is making that tapping is going to get it!" Disgruntled and aggravated, I rolled off my bed and left my room.

Following the tapping to the kitchen, I figure out what the source was. An owl is on my kitchen's windowsill. Again. I was immediately awake, my anticipation outweighing my sleepiness. I quickly open the window and let the owl in. It holds out its leg and I see that it has a letter attached. It seems that this owl is in fact, not an asshole. Faster than I thought possible I untie it from the owl's leg and rip it open.

After pulling it out of the envelope, I notice that it's on that same weird kind of paper as last time. This just solidifies the idea that this came from that new school. It's about damn time too!

_Dear Mr. York,_

_ I am very pleased with your decision to attend Hogwarts, and look forward to seeing you roaming these halls. As I stated in my previous letter, I would like to meet and discuss a few things before letting you wander into an entirely new world. Also I will answer any questions that you may or may not have about magic and the wizarding world in general. I will be arriving at One O' Clock in the afternoon on the 25__th__ of July. Please make sure that all of your luggage has been packed and that you are prepared to leave, as this is a boarding school. Again, I am pleased that you have decided to attend Hogwarts. _

_Hoping that you are well,_

_Albus Dumbledore_

Well at least I know that it wasn't some stupid prank. Wait, pack? Boarding School? Shit. Now I have to pack, let my landlord know that I'm leaving, _and_ keep my mental sanity while meeting with the headmaster of my new school that's _apparently _for wizards.

What kinda mess have I gotten myself into?

* * *

><p>I spent the rest of that morning rushing about to get everything done. I had a quick breakfast, got dressed wearing a pair of jeans and a black t-shirt and then got to packin'. I didn't have too much stuff, it was mainly clothes to be honest. Also I decided to take my sweet-ass acoustic guitar with me just because I love it. After I was done, I hefted my bags to the kitchen and looked at the owl still chilling in my kitchen. "Alright you," I tell it. "I need to go write a letter to my landlord and then I'm going to take a nap until Dumbles' comes to pick me up. You seem like a nice owl, much nicer than the last one, so I'm going to trust you to let me know if I need to wake up for any reason, okay?" The owl hoots in a condescending manner and makes a motion that seems to say 'I know what to do and I don't need you for clarification'. Why are all the owls dicks?<p>

Also, I stayed true to what I said. After writing and sending the letter to my landlord, I went to my bed and took a quick nap.

* * *

><p><em>Knock, knock, knock.<em> I groaned as the pounding on my door woke me up. I staggered to the door and opened it. For a moment I thought I was still asleep, because in front of me was the weirdest looking old man I'd ever seen. He wore some gown-robe thingy that had way too many colors, had this long white beard, and a pair of half-moon spectacles. The weirdness of his getup made me want to make fun of him. I really wanted to. However, for as crazy as he may seem, the old guy seemed to have this aura of respect and authority to him. Also, if he really CAN use magic, I would rather not be a newt.

"So, um," I stammered. "You're Headmaster Dumbledore?" It was more a question than it was a statement. Lots of weirdos nowadays, so it's always good to be sure. He smiled at me and nodded. "Indeed I am. I take it that you would be the one known as Andrew York?" The twinkle in his eye let me know that he knew exactly who I was and that it wasn't a question. I couldn't think of what else to say so I just responded with a stupid "Uh…yeah, that's me." Dumbledore just kept on smiling that grandfatherly smile and said "If it's not too much trouble, would you mind if I came inside? There are a great many things to discuss." I just waved my hand letting him know to come in and closed the door after him.

We went to the kitchen and sat at the dining table where the owl was chillin' with my stuffs. It seems he really watched out for my things. "Hey, thanks bud." I said in gratitude. All I got was an owl eye roll in return. The Headmaster seemed to be watching this whole interaction with amusement, but let me tell you, there is _nothing_ amusing about being blown off by an owl. Nothing amusing at all.

"It is time to begin our discussion, I will allow you to ask your questions first. I am sure that this whole ordeal has been confusing for you." Dumbles' said making me look back to him.

Before I even knew what I was saying I asked one of the dumbest questions ever. "Will I be able to shoot fireballs!?" I chirped. In hindsight, I probably should have asked a more important question, like, maybe, 'Is magic actually real?' But my love for Final Fantasy won out and I was already thinking about how many magic points it would take to shoot fireballs.

The old wizard looked surprised for a moment and then chuckled quietly. "Of course you can, my boy. With training." He replied still chuckling. "That is why I am here, to help you learn to control the magic like this," Before I knew it Dumbles' had pulled out a stick (which I assume is a wand) and made fireball appear on the tip. My inner child couldn't take it and before I knew it I was shouting stuff like, "Whoa, that's awesome!" which got The old Headmaster chuckling again. "Yes, it is very 'awesome'," He said. "Now, do you have any more questions?"

To be honest, I had none. I mean if I go to this school I will be able to shoot fireballs! _Fireballs!_ Also, it was just proven to me that magic was a real thing and that I was not, in fact, getting pranked.

I shook my head and Dumbledore nodded. "Very well then." Then his tone went to become serious. "I want you to know that while magic can be entertaining, it's not all fun and games. As there are bad people in your world, there are bad people in ours. One such person is Lord Voldemort, he is a dark wizard that has returned and he is very powerful." I nodded my head solemnly. That guy sounds like bad news. "The wizarding newspaper, the Daily Prophet, and the wizarding Ministry is refusing to acknowledge his return but I feel that you should know." He continued.

"Why is it important that I know?" I inquired, losing the usual cheerfulness that comes with my personality. Dumbledore just shook his head. "One day, when your older, everything will make sense. Now, then!" he declared back in cheerful mode. "It's time for me to explain to you all the things Hogwarts has to offer and what to expect." I frowned slightly, not really wanting to end the previous discussion, but I let it go for now.

Over the next few hours Dumbledore informed me about what to expect at Hogwarts and I gotta say, I was excited. Moving staircases, talking portraits, _ghosts_! It was like a magical paradise. Literally. I was also informed that Hogwarts is located in Scotland and that I would be taking a train in England and that we would be leaving for England now. With the knowledge of the fact that I would probably never come back to this apartment, I took one last look around, let the owl fly out, and made sure I wasn't missing anything. I found it hard to believe that I was leaving this place, as I had spent the past three years of my life here. But, the way I see it, everything changes. You just have to learn how to deal with it. Then I grabbed my two bags of stuff, and my guitar case (guitar inside, of course. I'm not an idiot. Okay, maybe a little bit of an idiot.) and went to the front door where Dumbledore was waiting. "All settled, Andrew?" I just nodded, not wanting to speak. He gave me a knowing look and grabbed my wrist. I was then presented with the worst feeling of squeezing ever. Of all time.

**AN: Hello all! Wildcat here, thank you guys so much for the support I really appreciate it. In this chapter it seems that Andrew is having a little bit of a down day, but don't worry! He'll be back and making sarcastic comments with a happy-go-lucky attitude in no time! Thanks again to all you guys who favorite and follow. Also, a review here and there couldn't hurt so do that too! Alright, I've wasted enough of your time. See-ya!**


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